It has been some time since I have been able to write about my experience with my black dog. Mainly because taking care of my black dog took most of my efforts in the past few months. Stress and anxiety over never being good enough, depression and wanting to die and being too scared to […]Read more "Back again"
‘You’re Paranoid. You’re Paranoid. They’re coming to get you.’ The best way to describe my experience of paranoia in July 2015 was that everything suddenly clicked in my mind. Every detail of my life suddenly made sense; an alternative explanation and perspective started to dominate my thoughts. Everything and everyone throughout my life had a connection to the conspiracy threatening me. It was […]Read more "Conspiracy Connections Everywhen and Everywhere"
This post is about recovery and healing. I decided that some sunshine was necessary after the serious posts of last week and before I start telling about life in the mental hospital. For a few months following hospitalisation, I struggled to get out of bed and leave the house. It took a lot of effort working with my mental health […]Read more "Hope that the next day will be better than the last"
After a lifetime of living with depression, it was not depression that almost killed me, but paranoia. Over the course of about a year of working on time-consuming experiments with the ever-present threat of the end of my research contract and work-sponsored UK visa, I became more and more convinced that I was being secretly filmed in the […]Read more "If I rest, if I think inward, I go mad – Sylvia Plath"
I was going to post every week on a Sunday morning, but I could not sleep this morning (I am slowly reducing my antidepression medication which means I have a lot more energy in the mornings, perhaps too much energy) and so I have written a post based on a meeting I had yesterday. I started a […]Read more "Working time regulations"