Remembering

Right now I am feeling upbeat and full of optimism. Sometimes when I am feeling happy, I barely notice my black dog and it is difficult to remember how bad it can get. There is a danger in forgetting as it is possible for the negative thoughts to start taking control again. I need to … Continue reading Remembering

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The sound of fear

Maybe you can't hear the sound my heart makes when it starts to fear. Fear of what you have just said. Fear of whether I have said something wrong. At this point the fear is manageable and our conversation still rests on level ground, but the thoughts start to spiral away from me as the … Continue reading The sound of fear

Thank you

I was going to title this blog with three words: "I am sorry." Three small words with heavy connotations. It is so easy to fall into the trap of routinely saying "I am sorry", when there are better options. Yet sometimes saying "I am sorry" can soften the disappointment that some people feel when you … Continue reading Thank you

Thread

It floats towards the mind like a silken thread spun by a spider. Try to catch the thread of the story, the idea, the poem before it breaks into nothing. Be gentle as you weave it into the pattern that suits this moment, this image, this truth, this tale. Gradually the beauty takes form. Images … Continue reading Thread

Hope that the next day will be better than the last

This post is about recovery and healing. I decided that some sunshine was necessary after the serious posts of last week and before I start telling about life in the mental hospital. For a few months following hospitalisation, I struggled to get out of bed and leave the house. It took a lot of effort working with my mental health … Continue reading Hope that the next day will be better than the last

“Exposure to recovery narratives can be transformative.” Professor Mike Slade

People who meet me generally remark on two things: my bubbly optimism and my proactive attitude to getting things done. Both very positive features and explain a bit about how I managed to get to where I am today. Yet, as my father often remarked, you should never judge a book by its cover. I … Continue reading “Exposure to recovery narratives can be transformative.” Professor Mike Slade